My dice have been responsible for losing all my wars
Whenever I need sixes they will always come up fours
My game buddies all laugh and tease about my lowly scores
Bad dice roll on and on
I'm such a whiz at flank marches until I roll the dice
My troops that were in hot pursuit are now as cold as ice
It's hard to turn a flank when your own men have turned to mice
Bad dice roll on and on
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Bad dice roll on and on
I can occupy the high ground with my back towards the sun
I can fortify positions but before my turn is done
I can test morale and watch my men surrender, die and run
Bad dice roll on and on
I have seen my veteran infantry marching like they were lame
I have seen my charging cavalry run back from where they came
I have seen my 12 pound battery go up in smoke and flame
Bad dice roll on and on
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Bad dice roll on and on
I can change the rules to help me but my friends would give me lip
I can change the army lists to make sure mine are best equipped
I can change my name to Gladys Knight to get a decent "pip"
Bad dice roll on and on
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Bad dice roll on and on
Written by Tim (Yahtzee!) the Elder
First sung February 19th, 2000
